Fixing separation anxiety for good
Part 1: The basics
Hello, I’m dog trainer Ki and I’ve been working with dogs for years.
I’ve studied from multiple dog training masters, trained with all sorts of different dogs and even created a dog training app.
One of the biggest issues that people most often have - is separation anxiety.
And in the next two posts, I’m going to explain to you everything you need to know to fix it.
I’ve gathered all information from all trainers, and made it nice and easy to understand. But just remember that understanding it alone is not enough, you actually need to put in a lot of effort to fix it.
The plan
Separation anxiety isn’t actually that simple. It’s caused by many small but important aspects of life.
And that’s why the solution itself also isn’t as simple as say… giving your dog a cookie before you leave.
We have compiled together the 6 most important points in which you can focus on, and in this post, we are going to look at the first 3.
Exercise
The first piece of the puzzle is of course exercise. And we are not talking about “Going out for a long walk” or “Throwing the ball” to your dog once a day.
We are talking about the full list of Physical, mental and senses exercises.
We have made a full list in our Pocket Puppy School app as well, but as a short summary:
Physical exercise - Except for puppies, whose bodies are weak, go run with your dog. Go swimming, let your dog dig. Let your dog pull you or a bike.
Mental exercise - Get your dog a dog puzzle. Teach your dog a new trick every 2 weeks.
Senses exercise - Get your dog a snuffle mat. Teach your dog the Search trick.
Your first main goal is to get your dog to be actually tired and fulfilled.
Most people didn’t actually realize how much exercise dogs need when they got their dog at the start. But dogs in general do actually have a lot of energy, that you need to take care of.
If you don’t, then that energy turns into anxiety and they start worrying about protecting you and the house.
A fulfilled and tired dog can sleep through the time that you are away.
Rules
The second piece of the puzzle is rules. Again, we talk about rules more in depth in our Pocket Puppy School’s course.
But, as a summary - If you separate human things from dog things then that gives structure. Structure helps take away responsibility from your dog and it gives freedom and reassurance in return.
It’s always hard to say do make changes in your life, but if you want to fix anxiety, then these things actually help.
Make these rules in your house, using these techniques:
No dogs on the bed. Dogs get their own cozy bed.
No dogs on the couch. Dogs get their own soft couch.
No human food, ever. Dogs get the best dog food you can find.
Less attention when it’s working time. Dogs have special times during the day where they get 120% of your attention.
Again, we talk about rules in depth in our app. They are a really touchy subject, because people don’t like it when someone tells them they should live differently.
BUT, as an experienced dog trainer, I can say, that these simple rules make one hell of a difference in the long run.
Anxiety is often caused by dogs worrying about things they shouldn’t.
But if you start showing that we do humans things, and that dogs can’t and don’t have to take part in them. Then an understanding and trust starts to form.
Dogs do dog things. Humans do humans things. All at their specified times, at their specified locations.
Reactions
The third piece of the puzzle is reactions.
And though again, a big topic with lots and lots of tiny details, which you can read about in the app. For separation anxiety, we recommend two techniques.
While many owners often search for “Anti stress music” on YouTube before leaving their dog alone - the only real solution here is to act like nothing big is happening at all.
And that requires you to fully ignore your dog with calmness. Here is how it should look like:
We’re just popping outside for a minute to grab the newspaper… or maybe for 5 minutes or maybe even an hour, who knows? Our dog certainly doesn’t, and she shouldn’t even care.
Because all she knows is that we have 4 times during the day where we go out, exercise have fun and everything in between. And when we have to go outside without her, it’s no big deal, because we will be right back and we will go out when it’s time to go out.
For coming back, there is a technique as well - it’s called “Your dog doesn’t exist until…”
The game itself is simple. Your dog doesn’t exist until:
One minute passes
Your dog stops barking
Your dog is on the place
Once these criterias are completed, only then can you go and greet, hug, pet, kiss or whatever you want to do to your dog.
So even if you have been gone forever and you miss your dog too, just wait a minute and let that first doggy excitement pass. THEN go and greet your dog.
Often times people forget that the bigger the excitement is when you get back, the bigger the sadness is when you leave.
